Inner Strength
by CountTheCrows
Summary: When tragedy strikes Joan she gives up on God, only to have her faith restored by an unexpected person.
1. Default Chapter

Inner Strength  
  
Summary: When tragedy strikes Joan she gives up on God, only to have her faith restored by an unexpected person.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joan Of Arcadia belongs to Barbara Hall and CBS. Although I wish I could borrow Chris Marquette and Kris Lemche...but that will never happen so I'll just write fanfic. Yes, that will have to do.  
  
Spoilers: Everything up till the last episode. And little hints of DTM (in the Joan/Adam sense.)  
  
Rating: PG-13 for the mild violence in chapter one.  
  
A/N: Yes! Second fic! I am breaking through the writer's block slowly. I actually started this story backwards, well somewhat backwards. I have like the third chapter written, and I think there is probably going to be about four so I just have to write the others and do some tweaking to the third. Okay well enjoy.  
  
"Literary symbolism, yeah okay Grace," Joan Girardi said to herself as she was trying to get through Kafka's "The Metamorphosis." The starlight bookstore was completely empty, as it usually was. It wasn't as if Arcadia was a hopping town, in all actuality it was closer to "Buffy's" description of Sunnydale as "a one Starbuck's town." Giving up in frustration Joan put the book down and looked down at her watch. She groaned. "Where is he?" The 'he' Joan was referring to was Adam Rove, her best-friend-turned-boyfriend since a few weeks ago when he and "Baby Voice" had broken up. He was supposed to be here by now. Joan figured he had probably gotten held up working in his shed. She looked down at a pile of books that she had to put away or face the wrath of Sammy. What the hell, Joan figured, might as well do something to pass the time. She was just finishing putting away the last book when she heard someone come in.  
  
"Okay Rove, you're such a dead ma-'' Joan stopped dead in her tracks when she realized the person who came in wasn't Adam at all.  
  
"Get behind the counter now." The guy had a gun and looked serious about using it too. Joan froze like she was a deer caught in a car's headlights. She didn't want to think that this was really happening; after all, was she not an instrument of God? Would God really put her in danger? "Do you think I'm playing with you kid? Get behind the damn counter!" Suddenly he was up in her face and the gun was against her. He grabbed her by the arm and brought her over to the counter and pointed to the cash register. "I want $500 and I want it now. Any stalling and I will use this." Joan gulped. She couldn't think of the code needed to open the register. She had so many thoughts going through her mind. Adam! What about Adam? What if he walked in and? Joan had to focus but she couldn't.  
  
"I...I can't open it. I don't remember the code," she said sobbing between her words.  
  
"Well," he said clicking the trigger, "maybe this will give you some incentive."  
  
"Please," Joan sobbed even more, "please don't. I have a family...and..my boyfriend's supposed to be coming here tonight."  
  
"I don't care if God's supposed to be coming here tonight just open the damn drawer!" he screamed. Finally Joan focused and remembered the code; but her heart sank when she realized that they did not have even close to $500 in the register.  
  
"I don't think we have enough."  
  
"Then give me whatever you have. Are you *that* stupid?" He grabbed her head and slammed it down against the counter. Joan's head throbbed in pain. Just as he was finishing up putting the money in the bad he loosened his grip on Joan's arm. She saw the fire extinguisher and decided to make a go for it. But the man saw Joan going for it and fired his gun. It had hit her stomach; Joan fell to the ground in pain. "I told you, I wouldn't be afraid to use it." And with that the man took his money and ran, leaving Joan on the floor, bleeding heavily. She kept telling herself to stay awake, but her eyes closed and Joan drifted off. 


	2. All we can do now is wait

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm not sure how long this story is going to take me because I have midterms coming up and I really need to study for them. I know how the story is going to end, and the so-called "climax" but the rest of the chapters I have no clue. Hopefully this will hold you over for a while. I promise I will try to get the rest up as soon as I can. Oh and I have no knowledge of anything regarding the medical field so I apologize for any terms or whatever I mess up.  
  
Chapter Two-Hospital waiting rooms filled with guilt  
  
An ambulance pulled up to Arcadia Hospital; the back doors opened and out came a stretcher with Joan Girardi. The paramedics raced her in.  
  
"What do we have?" a doctor's voice asked.  
  
"Shooting victim; somewhere in the pelvic region."  
  
"Is she conscious?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Does she have a pulse?"  
  
"Just barely."  
  
"Alright, get her into the O.R. now."  
  
~JoanofArcadia~  
  
Less than a half hour later four Girardi's burst through the Hospital's entrance. Helen looked pale, like she was about to pass out. When she approached the receptionist's desk she was frantic.  
  
"Where's my daughter? Where is she?" Helen's voice was just about as high as it could go.  
  
"Who's your daughter?"  
  
"Tell me where she is!"  
  
"Ma'am you're going to have to calm down." By this time Will came to his wife's side and held her.  
  
"We're looking for our daughter Joan Girardi. She was brought in here about a half hour ago? She was shot." Normally he wouldn't have been so calm but he had to be, for Helen and for Kevin and Luke. The receptionist looked at the patient chart.  
  
"She's still in surgery."  
  
"Do you know when she will be out of surgery?"  
  
"Not sure but it's probably going to be a while. Why don't you sit your family in the waiting area while you fill out these forms?"  
  
"Forms?" Now Will was pissed. "My daughter's in surgery and you want me to fill out forms?" The receptionist sighed. It's not like she wanted to do this, but it was procedure.  
  
"It's just procedure sir." She handed him the clipboard while Helen, Kevin and Luke sat down in the waiting room. It took Will about fifteen minutes to fill out the forms and by the time he was done it was around 9:15. He took a seat next to his wife.  
  
"Can you believe this? Our daughters in surgery and they're worried about stupid insurance forms. Unbelievable." Helen laughed.  
  
"Thank you." She said. Will was always good at taking her mind off the bad stuff in times like this. She looked at her sons, both of them were motionless. It was if none of them had a thought. Luke fidgeted. He hated hospitals, especially after Kevin's accident. He never wanted to be in another one ever again, but here he was, waiting to see if he would ever get to see his sister alive again. It was funny, Luke normally had a million things going on in his mind, but tonight he didn't even have one. Normally he could tell you what the square root of 490,000 was but tonight he couldn't even count to beyond sixty. Sixty seconds equaled one minute. Sixty minutes equaled one hour. Sixty. Luke kept concentrating on that until he could no longer. He needed to do something, something useful. It then occurred to him that Grace and Adam had no idea what had happened. He got up.  
  
"Where are you going?" His mother asked.  
  
"I'm going to call Adam and Grace. They should know." He got up and went to the phone. When he arrived back it was around 9:45. Joan had been in surgery for about an hour by now.  
  
"Did you get in touch with them?" Kevin asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah I got in touch with Grace but I didn't have Adam's number. She told me she would tell him and they would be here as soon as they could." It was just then that a doctor came in.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Girardi?" Both Helen and Will immediately stood up. "I'm Dr. Summers, and I just wanted to let you know that Joan's out of surgery now."  
  
"Oh thank God," Helen said. "Can we see her?"  
  
"No. We've placed her in ICU just to take some precautions. But I think she's going to pull through just fine. I will come back to inform you on how she's doing later. Until then why don't you just go home and get some rest?"  
  
"No," Will said, "No, we're going to stay right here. Thank you Dr." Dr. Summers gave Helen a reassuring look.  
  
"I think she's going to be fine. And you're welcome. If there's anything you need please don't hesitate to ask." And with that she took off.  
  
~JoanofArcadia~  
  
Adam and Grace rode up in the elevator, neither one of them said anything. Neither of them knew what to say, both were afraid of saying the wrong thing. Grace was watching television when the phone rang. She remembered exactly what she was watching, MTV thinking to herself "damn media conglomerates, trying to control everything." And then the phone rang. She was irritated to say the least; she looked at her caller ID but didn't recognize the number. She was about to put down the phone when she got this feeling, this feeling in the pit of her stomach. And then she picked up the phone.  
  
"What do you mean she got shot?" Grace never felt so scared before in her life. This was her best friend, best girl friend; Grace never had an actual girl friend before Joan. Hell she didn't even know when Joan had gotten to be her "best friend," besides Rove, but she had. The thought of losing her was just unbearable. And then as if it couldn't get worse Grace realized something even more horrible. She would have to tell Adam. She shivered at the thought; I mean honestly, there's no good conversation that starts out "Hey guess what? You're girlfriend got shot," now is there? But she had to, and she couldn't do this over the phone. She went to his shed where he was busy making something.  
  
"Rove." He looked up and saw Grace standing there. He looked at his watch, it was 9:45. 9:45! He had completely forgotten that he had a date with Jane.  
  
"Grace! Yo, it's a good thing you came by," he said taking off his apron. "Jane's gonna kill me." It was then that he saw the look on her face. The look that nobody ever wants to get, he knew that look. He hated that look. "Grace?"  
  
"We have to get to the hospital." Grace looked at Adam in the elevator; she wondered what he was thinking. Adam looked at the floor they were on. Were elevators always this slow? I mean really? He looked down at the floor. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid. If he had just written down his idea, but no he had to stay and finish it. He knew Jane would be upset, but he never imagined. No, Oh God no, he couldn't bear to think that he may never see her alive again. He would never get to actually say the words "I love you," to her. A tear rolled down his cheek. Grace noticed.  
  
"Hey, she's going to be okay."  
  
"You don't know that."  
  
Finally they arrived at their floor. They saw Luke getting something from the vending machine.  
  
"LUKE!" Grace screamed. Luke turned around and saw Grace and a very frantic Adam coming out of the elevator. He walked over to them.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"How is she? Is she going to be okay?" Adam looked at Luke with pleading eyes.  
  
"She's out of surgery. In ICU."  
  
"So, what do we do?" Grace asked.  
  
Luke looked at Grace and Adam, wanting to say something useful, but all that came out was "All we can do now is wait." 


	3. Why Joan is Jane

A/N: Sorry, the next two chapters are probably going to be short. I blame it on writer's block. This chapter doesn't really have much to do with the story, it's just a filler, but it has a cute conversation between Luke and Adam and a bit of Grace/Joan and Grace/Luke. I can't tell you much but I can tell you that the next chapter will have a CBG/Joan confrontation-and it's going to be good! Just let me get through midterms first and then I will write the fourth chapter, fifth is already written just need to tweak it a bit. There will most likely be six chapters so hang tight! And thank you to everyone who reviewed, it meant a lot to me!  
  
Chapter 3-Why Joan is Jane  
  
It had been three days since Joan Girardi was admitted into Arcadia Hospital, three days that she had been in a coma, and three days that her family and friends spent waiting for any sign of hope that she would wake up. The hospital had become like a second home in these past three days. Helen took off from work and spent the day at the hospital, Will came by during his lunch break and then during dinner time, and so did Kevin. Luke, Adam and Grace came by right after school. The three of them were sitting at a table nearby playing scrabble.  
  
"Rove," Grace said looking down at the board, "'Cha is not a word."  
  
"If you say it it's a word."  
  
"Really, then what does it mean?" Adam pondered that for a minute, then giving Grace a glare he removed his letters and passed his turn onto Luke. Luke looked at Grace for a minute. If only she liked him the way he liked her, sure he liked Glynis but with Grace it was passion, it was lust it was-  
  
"Girardi?" Grace interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're staring at me, and it's wigging me out, so stop!"  
  
"Sorry" Luke mumbled. "You know, you guys don't have to be here." Both Grace and Adam gave Luke a look of shock. "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant, you know, there's been no change. There's no sense of all of us waiting here."  
  
"No," Adam began "I want to be here when Jane wakes up."  
  
"We don't know when that's going to be though."  
  
"I don't care how long it takes, I can wait." Adam meant that too, he would wait for Jane to wake up no matter no long it took. That's what romantic love does to you. Grace looked at Adam and took in his words. Then she looked at Luke. Would Luke wait for Grace to come around? Obviously not, since he pretty much hooked up with Glynis two seconds after. Of course that wasn't entirely true. Grace knew she held a fault in that, she didn't exactly pursue Luke, didn't exactly give him any signals, she kissed him at the dance but that was just because of Friedman. Or was it? Grace's feelings were so screwed up, the whole situation was so screwed up. On the one hand she was sitting across a table from one of her two best friend's brothers, wanting to kiss him again like she did at the dance and on the other hand she was sitting next to her other best friend keeping it a secret that she sometimes thought about what it would be like to kiss his girlfriend. She was overwhelmed by them and then was frustrated by them. Damn the Girardi's, she thought, damn them for coming here and messing up my life. It wasn't like there was anything she could do about it anyway, I mean sure she could kiss Luke and break up his relationship with Glynis but then she'd be forced to show her emotions, which she kept bottled up so tightly inside. And it wasn't like she could kiss Joan, nor could she tell anybody that she fantasized about it. Adam would freak, so would Joan, so would Luke. And her father the rabbi, oh that would make his day. Grace couldn't take it anymore. She got up.  
  
"I'm going to go get some fresh air." Grace got up and walked out leaving Luke and Adam by themselves. Luke looked at Adam and thought of how little he actually knew about his sister's boyfriend. He was in a word, weird. He made art out of junk, could often be described as spacey and lastly, the one thing Luke couldn't understand is that he called Joan 'Jane'. The only actual semi-conversation that they had was when Luke confronted him about Joan being pregnant, and that did not go over too well. Maybe he should get to know him.  
  
"So Adam, mind if I ask you something?" Adam shrugged.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why do you call Joan 'Jane'?" Adam chuckled.  
  
"Well at first it was because I thought that was her name but then it kind of became, I don't know this nickname for her. It's my own special part of her, you know?" Luke nodded.  
  
"Yeah, yeah sure. One more thing though Adam, I know I'm not too strong but I want you to know, if you ever hurt my sister, I will kick your ass." Adam tried to contain himself, the idea of Jane's younger brother beating him up was fairly amusing but instead he took the honest road:  
  
"I would never hurt Jane." He paused, and then "I love her." Before Luke could say anything Grace came back and sat down.  
  
"So, what did I miss?" 


End file.
